Five Criteria for Effective Discipline

Jane Nelsen (author of the book Positive Discpline) explains that Positive Discipline is neither controlling nor permissive. It is based on mutual respect and cooperation with the long-term goal of teaching children to be responsible and contributing members of their families, classrooms and society.

She identifies 5 criteria for “effective discipline that teaches.”

Effective discipline:

1. Helps children feel a sense of connection (belonging and significance).


2. Is mutually respectful and encouraging. (Kind and firm at the same time.)


3. Is effective long-term. (Considers what the child is thinking, feeling, learning and deciding about himself and his world – and what to do in the future to survive or to thrive.)


4. Teaches important social and life skills. (Respect, concern for others, problem solving and cooperation as well as skills to contribute to the home, school or larger community.)


5. Invites children to discover how capable they are. (Encourages the constructive use of personal power and autonomy.)

Download the Effective Discipline handout here
My favorite links